Mister Blue Sky Guarding The Magic Sea Slug Garden

Mister Blue Sky Guarding The Magic Sea Slug Garden

Dock Dekkers Row

Dock Dekkers Row

Sunny, low 80″s and calm the last couple days on Utila….for the first time since I reached here 13 days ago….or was that 13 years ago (where did this foot-long sun-bleached beard come from…..Carrie are you still out there…there….there….thaaaar..?..I guess its actually 11 inches according to the Subway Sandwich measuring system……..

It’s cool though to finally see all the diver/hostel crowd ‘decking” out on the dive centers’ docks…….instead of just at the nighttime bars and clubs……they have undergone a western caribbean, liquid-nation, transformation from “a backpacker to dockdekker”….(Mister Blue Skyism)…..the locals and tourists gather at sunset to see the roosting flocks of dockdekkers….sure hope a picture of me does not wind up on some tourist’s facebook page….”extinct species of dockdekker discovered on Alton’s Dive Center’s dock, Utila Honduras”…..”local authorities state he is not the missing island bigfoot”….or is that goathoof…….

Along the harbor road are constant waves of people talking, walking, peddling bikes, riding scooters…..motorcycles, golf carts, 4 wheelers, small trucks and always the small fleet of $20 Lemps (Lempiras) tuktuk taxis. The road is narrow……lined with building after building….so narrow that 2 normal size vehicles trade paint sliding by one another. Its alive, its vibrant……full of flockers and gawkers, divers and drivers…lots of hoppers (people jumping out of the way of bikes-scooters-4 wheelers-tuktukers et al)……no casual stroll here….if you want to be a “stroller” its best between 4:17 and 5:16 AM………in case you were wondering….to be a harbor stroker you need to be splashed right after the dive boats leave and out before they return from their half day trips……otherwise you might wind up as “harbor-kill”……..Mister Blue Sky is a very experienced dockdekker/harbor-stroker tropical flocker….having spent a millineum of such waxing his previous life away in the Bahamas….ie…”bu”…Before Utila.

Utila has a serious number of dive centers clustered together on the harbor front …..located at my current end of the harbor…pun intended….with Alton’s Dive Center being at the beginning or end depending on one’s altered perceptions……”on Utila’s diver’s row you have to get to the end before you can start at the beginning” (Mister Blue Skyism)….and the beginning and end starts with Alton’s Dive Center……There is definitely a competitive vibe for the dive travelers’ business…. Utila is ‘THE STOP’ on the Mexican-Central American backpacking tour for scuba certification. These dive centers offer free hostel beds with their dive courses at very cheap rates compared to anywhere in the world…..lots of hostels, inexpensive rooms and apartments to rent. Since Utila floats along the Tropicville Road the backpacker-Indie Traveler-free spirited nomadic trail intersects here with Mister Blue Sky….

…..So to any of you on this tropical highway intersection who are tuning into this blog, let me blow a conch horn into your stoned earhole and shout… WE ARE ALL HERE FOR THE SAME F’ing REASON….GET IT!!!!!…..we are buddy diving–dockdekking–drinking the same rum…passing the same______around and watching d’ same sunset together…….so if you see me as a tourist you are seeing the same f’ing reflection off the dock in the same water that I am…..ps…. I like you more than you like me…I get it… I respect and to some extent envy your journey….but hey understand people are people….there are ass holes and ignoramous-holes everywhere on the planet….(the blue holes are in d’ Bahamas)….but there are far less holes in d’ ilaaans mon……so from mi hammock I tell’n you “ai’no tingmon”…..I have 4 partially filled bottles of rum that I will share with you…lets meet on the docks to a watch the afternoon gawkers (locals and tourists) flocking to the harbor front….not sure what their looking at…..I strayed…..

…..The least expensive and most time consuming route to reach Utila is through the port of La Ceiba, Honduras……just hop aboard the daily ferry to Utila aka the “Vomit comet” ……it takes about an hour and 15 minutes…….which is the equivalent of 3 half and 5 full upchucks per upchuckkacker away from Utila…..words of wisdom get to fresh air while on board-avoid a traveler experiencing “upchuckkacker domino syndrome”….its very contagious like a row of dominoes splattering everywhere!…..but not the same as having “The Beach Syndrome”…..(caused by watching the movie The Beach starring Leonardo DeCaprio)…..occasionally some one can be seen on the horizon eventually swimming in to the harbor……sputtering the words…”is this d’ ilaan where dry eat d’ magic sea slugs?”……..you hate to bust their urban myth so you tell them yes…..but that the Japanese came and took them all away….but now that your here….come dive……

Utila, as I have stated, is the backpackers’ diving course “I-laan” (island) of choice on the tropical highway….these travelers are the heart beat of the diving tourism on Utila……the local Utilians view them as young tourists….(if you are visiting… to them you are deemed a tourist regardless of what you call yourself)….you/me we are the prey…..its a 24-7 pulsing island beat…Utilian Sirens….luring all into the whirling pool of dive centers….. a tropical symbiotacy…. the free rooms-cheap rates are the bait…..but the travelers are trail-smart….selecting their dive center after an enlightened cruise down divers’ row…….

Mister Blue Sky has taken it upon himself while in a Utila State of Mind…..or was that a green flash moment of enlightenment….to draft the official island monicker of Utila…..”L.D.P. Utila”….”live, dive, party Utila”…..I like it so I deem it so…..

I stay at Lazy Daze (see link) which is in fact 18 fin kicks by water away from Alton’s…… I know the distance because I have swam over more than once, being necessary when you lock yourself out of the gate at the street….I am more than slightly prejudiced when it comes to Alton’s (I am sure that the other dive centers are great too)….but Alton’s has the best dock for dekkers on d’ ilaan mon…2 tiered/2 levels with a thatched umbrella like area in the middle of the top level, several hammocks……plus 2 very good dive boats that are meticulously maintained by Capt. Joe….the engine rooms are spotless…that’s all you need to know about a boat’s state of mind….check the engine room!

Ok…I know some of you want to know what’s Mister Blue Sky been up to since he posted last week about completing his Advanced Open Water certification…DIVING…..DIVING…..DIVING…FOLLOWED BY HARBOR STROKING AND DOCK DEKKING……I just completed the Advanced Diver Rescue course….taaadaaaaah …thank you….that is 3 courses in 11 days….Mister Blue Sky saved several people from drowning, searched and rescued non responsive comatose divers from the deep with first aid resuscitations, assisted distressed-distraught-distracted divers, and subdued wacked out-freaked out divers in the depths…in other words Mister Blue Sky harrassed his instructor and particpating DMT’s (dive masters in training) or was it the other way around….as I say its a tropical symbioatic relationship round here……did more wreck dives in deep waters…saw all kinds of tropical underwater wild life…lions(fish) and tigers(grouper) oh my…plus turtles, giant-huge king crabs with bighters that will snap your limbs off—-baros (barracudas)…..plus on yesterday’s solo harbor snorkel tour….I had 3 man o’ war birds stalking me from the air plus saw 2 large sea horses (no saddles) and had a 50 lb Tarpon swim along with me for awhile…..I suspect he thought I was trying to pilch magic sea slugs…not…..urban myth right?

Mister Blue Sky bought a Hammock yesterday for about $900…..lemps….so about $43 US……true story-I just put it on the hooks on the dock house porch at Lazy Daze yesterday at about 1:05 PM……was literally getting into it for the 1st time when Kevin my dive instructor yelled over from Alton’s dock…..telling me that we had a required fun dive in 10 minutes…(how can it be fun if its required?)….ya you guessed it…..I went
diving…had a great time too…..

Let me give a shout out to Alton’s Advance Rescue Dive Course instructor……Kevin…GREAT F’ing JOB KEVIN!….Mister Blue Sky definitely was taught his ‘ass hole from elbow’ in diver rescue these past few days (or hoof to snout)…….thank you for the underwater abuse…just kidding..not…..maybe..ok…I would definitely….____..again…..Also thank you Eva and Taylor, Alton’s DMT’s aka Dive Master wannabeees, for allowing me to drown you a few times while trying to save you……..but not so much for the payback time during the open water rescue exam dives…..just pulling your inflator hose…..which means i am kidding……maybe….also a shout out to Margaret my course buddy…great job Margaret…may the winds always fill the Drummer’s sail along the tropical highway…..Mister Blue Sky

Finally…to Carrie…you are the best!….and I am still in one piece….no beard and the year is…?

Mister Blue Sky